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Men's
Review Magazine
May 2002
Funny
Lady Karen Loftus -
The Breakfast Club
The title of
the Breakfast Club has always connoted some sense of exclusivity.
The women interviewed were, if nothing else, members of a 'club.'
You either had to be a Men's Review reader or, as the old charter
required, something to the effect of a "popular female personality."
Nonetheless, we all knew what it meant. Each month one could look
forward to a transcribed conversation and photos of a woman who
was either intelligent, talented or beautiful.
Keep in mind that they only had to be 'either' one of the above.
Still the fact is that we always kept our standards high and most
women possessed all three of the above qualifications for membership.
Furthermore, the most subjective of the three, beauty, was normally
left up to my judgment and no one seemed to ever disagree with me.
Well this month is no exception. Instant Café Theatre, also known
for its high standard of excellence in theatre, imported a special
treat from Hollywood, USA. On her Southeast Asian Tour of her one
woman stand-up comedy show, "American Woman," comedian Karen Loftus
took time out to have breakfast and give us a little more insight
into what makes the fairer sex tick.
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I had the pleasure
of catching Karen's show the night before and let me tell you it
was a gas! I cried laughing. I found Karen's talent, energy and
her own sexuality her most attractive, well, assets. She is an adorable
little bundle of funny.
Fortunately, Karen was staying at the fabulous Pan Pacific Hotel
in Kuala Lumpur, and the personable director of sales and marketing,
Paul Er, was kind enough to host us at the Pacific Lounge, the new
and exclusive lounge for hotel guests located on the 30th floor.
We dined on a sumptuous breakfast of smoked salmon with a panoramic
view of the KL skyline just outside the window. Luckily the lounge
is quite large (1,000 square metres Paul informed me) as Karen's
laughter was so loud that we had to partition ourselves off in one
of the private rooms, (We didn't want others to disturb us!)
Karen and I hit it off straight away. After all we have a lot in
common. We're both American, we're both writers and we're both performers.
The only real difference is that she's more talented and better
looking. The point is that with such a rapport we were able to get
right down to the real B-Club nitty gritty. (Did I just say 'nitty
gritty'?)
MR: Quite often you've heard a woman speaking to another woman who's
curious as to why the other is attracted to a particular guy. And
when there seems to be no explanation the second woman will often
answer; "Oh, he makes me laugh!"
Karen: Yes, yes!
MR: So the question is… (aside to Karen)… are you straight by the
way?
Karen: (laughing) Yes, yes I am…
MR: (laughing) I just had to check because maybe I had to change
my pronouns.
Karen: No, we're fine.
MR: Is it important for you that a guy be funny?
Karen: Absolutely.
MR: You're not funny enough for the both of you?
Karen: No, never enough humor. Gotta be funny. I need to be entertained
as well.
MR: Did you ever think about dance as opposed to comedy?
Karen: I was a dancer. A kid dancer. On dance podiums and stuff
like that.
MR: Do you feel that because you're a comedian people expect you
to entertain them all the time?
Karen: Yeah, yeah. When you go out people expect you to trip and
fall when you come in.
MR: I do that all the time anyway.
Karen: Yeah, and juggle something. I do sometimes 'cause I am a
fun person but… sometimes people are like, "why aren't you funny,
I thought you were a comedian?"
MR: They ask you to tell them a joke?
Karen: I just say that my hook is that I'm not funny. Then I stare
at them kinda dumb.
MR: You're a very forward person, yeah?
Karen: Well, I'm actually kind of shy.
MR: It's very standard that most comedians are very private people.
Karen: No I'm very honest about a lot of aspects of my life but
it doesn't mean I'm running through the audience saying, "hey, who
wants some of this?"
MR: Men in their thirties and above seem to always prize the early
twenties model type. What would be your advice?
Karen: Keep shopping, man. Check out the other aisles! There's a
special on yesterday's baked goods!
MR: Who would you most like to have Breakfast with?
Karen: Does it have to be one person?
MR: Well, yeah, but if you want to be difficult go ahead.
Karen: Okay, Madonna, Oprah, Bill Clinton… and Russell Crowe.
MR: Any advice you can give our male readers about meeting women?
They love this kinda shit.
Karen: Well, what you said about humor is important. There's no
such thing as a pick up line that works. You just gotta be yourself.
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